View from the Second City (First column)

(I wrote this after Christmas, and it was published in this weeks Journal Republican, the newspaper from my hometown. It's the beginning of my monthly column comparing Chicago and Monticello/White Heath. I hope to show everyone that it's not so different.)

Most people think Chicago greets commuters with heavy traffic and billboards but I prefer to wait until I see the el for the first time to welcome myself to the Second City. The train system is the cities bloodline and when you drive North on Interstate 57 it pops out of the ground like an animal. The roar silenced by the passing cars.

The el splits into several lines named for colors. Each line cuts through the different neighborhoods linking the diverse people and places.

Mine is the Red Line. It runs from the North Side down to the South Side and soaks up the intricacies of each neighborhood in between. It goes from tunnels to street level between the interstate; then back underground and final becomes elevated again after downtown.

The Brown Line circles downtown, creating “the loop,” and then runs northwest. The Blue Line links the west side with downtown and then goes back west. Each line has its own feel, its own personality.

I grew up outside of White Heath, but I now live in Chicago on the North Side. It is hard, sometimes, to know which is my home. I am comfortable in Chicago, but my roots are in the country.

After an emotional Christmas break my mother drove me back to Chicago--back home. I love the drive North on 57. The monotonous interstate drive is broken up by a few surreal oddities: the 20 foot tall Abraham Lincoln, the Kankakee hand clutching the world. It reminds me of our Midwest humor, dry and spars and often very strange.
Unfortunately, on this drive I missed the Lincoln because of a semi we passed at the exact wrong time.

Clouds covered the skyline until after we first saw the Red Line. I prefer the skyline coming from the South. Maybe because my first glimpse of Chicago was from this angle or maybe because the buildings look more compacted than the usual picture from the East.

The lake greets me after we pass the Bears’ playground. My first lake sighting tells me that I am finally home. We just have a little more to drive on Lake Shore before I am technically there, but I already feel good. It has been a while since I had a visit that lasted longer than a weekend. It was nice to be in Piatt County for so long, but I am glad to be back to my life.

Second Practice Onion Article

(I think this one is a little better. It's longer at least.)

Obama's Economic Stimulus Plan Includes Obama Memorabilia

President Obama announced Friday that Obama memorabilia will account for nearly 20% of his $900 billion stimulus plan.

"We are struggling as a country. Parents can not provide for there children because they have lost their jobs. It is the Government's responsiblity to provide for its citizens and that is why I am signing this stimulus package with 200 thousand 'January 20th, 2009 commemorative plates,'" Obama said in his speach on Friday.

The package also includes 2 million silver dollars with "Obama's likeness embossed on the front," 100 thousand Obama bobble heads and 30 thousand January 20th Inauguration plaque with Obama's speech "etched into 24 karate gold."

The plan is meant to help out the nations failing QVC economy. "QVC is the cornerstone of the American economy. If we don't help now, Americans all over the country will no longer be able to buy worthless junk over the phone," Obama said on Friday.

Sandy Wallis, a retired teacher from Greenwich NY, says she supports the plan. "I would hate to see QVC disappear. I bought this Hello Kitty diamonique sterling pendant for only $79, with five easy payments. And that's something you can wear anywhere."

While the QVC plan is becoming very popular with the public, Economists and Republican Senators both say they see flaws.

"We all want to support the bobble head initiative," said U.S. Senator Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.). "But I think we need to do more. We need to also help the falling Sky Mall stocks and keep Sharper Image from bankruptcy. Our nation's crap economy is suffering a crises and QVC alone can not be its sole supporter."

Ill-Fated Attempt to Write Like The Onion

(This is practice for my dream job at the Onion. I think I might have to work at it more. Is it funny at all? Some constructive criticisms would be much appreciated. It's a lot harder to make up the news then I thought.)

Sign Language Interpreter Mocks Representative During Speech

Stephen Dorr, congressional sign language interpreter, stopped interpreting Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) and started making fun of him at Thursday's Congressional meeting.

"Look at this Douche. Does he even know what he is talking about?" signed Dorr.

McCarthy was speaking on the "importance of the detection of early childhood disabilities." To which Dorr signed, "I'm sure he knows all about early childhood disabilities." And then he added, "Oh right, that's what he is talking about . . . early childhood disabilities. What a Douche."

In an interview during the congressional break, Dorr said he was tired of listing to "blow-hards" and wanted to make his friends laugh.

"Really, I don't even think anyone was paying attention," Dorr said.

Samantha Renaldo, a deaf woman sitting in on the meeting with a tour, said she didn't even notice.

"I think I might have fallen asleep when he was talking," Renaldo said.

When asked his thoughts, McCarthy said, "He did what now?"

I Love TED Talks

TED Talks is basically a podcast of smart people talking about smart things. It's on the specific side of the spectrum. Where as when I am watching it I am on the general side. Speakers at TED know everything about one subject while I am gaining a tiny bit of information on a huge amount of subjects.

I drew up an interesting kind of document depicting this.

Here are a few of my favorite TED Talks:
A surprising parable of foie gras
The stories and song of Appalachia
Where have the bees gone?
How things in nature tend to sync up
Who is General Tso? and other mysteries of American Chinese food
Understanding comics
The art of baking bread

Cute!!!

(I got this picture from acmaurer on twitter. I don't know where she got it.)

One of those Heavy Issues I Teased Earlier or 100 Post!!

I've been thinking about where the media is heading. That Publish2 contest was part of it. (I think I lost that by the way. Oh Well.) But even before that I've been a little concerned about the future.

I'm definitely not part of the old media who is scared of change, but I'm also not part of the opposite side of the spectrum. I don't worship at the alter of the Internet. I see it's problems and I see how to fix it. Not to stroke my own ego, but I think that might have lost me the contest. Publish2 is 100% into the internet, and I wrote about how that's not necessarily the best thing to do. (Please don't take this as me bashing on the website or upset about loosing.)

But, like everything else good in the world, the internet is far more complicated than most people like to think.

A lot of people often argue about the use of advertising in the media. The argument is that advertising will effect the news. Meaning: If a company advertises in a newspaper, the newspaper is less likely to report on bad news about that company.

This is a flawed argument by people who don't know the inter-workings of a newspaper office. Advertising and Reporting are two separate sections of the office. Reporters don't know what ads will be used and advertisers have no idea what the news will be. And no one knows what the finished product looks like until they read there newspaper. There are moments in history where this balance was corrupted, but too few to be anything but exceptions.

The interesting part of new media is also what I have the biggest problem with. A lot of these podcasts and what-not are produced by one person or at most a small group. This destroys the balance perfected by years and years of the old media. Now the reporter, director, writer, and advertiser are all the same person.

A few podcasts I listen to do advertising like early television. When they would stop in between stories to talk about cigarettes, "Ohhh-that smooth flavor." And then go back to the show.

The biggest problem I see with new media is that the internet wants to forget the lessens old media learned long ago. Maybe like a teenager, the internet needs to learn the lessons for its self. And old media needs to let go and hope the growing-pains doesn't kill it.

View from the Second City: Beginnings

I've got a column in a paper.

It's a monthly column in the Journal Republican, my hometown weekly newspaper. I'm calling it "View from the Second City." Most people live in a small town because they don't like big cities and I'm trying to literarlaraly (*made up word) show the similarities between Chicago and Piatt county.

I'm pretty excited about it. I'll post them after they are printed so everyone can see.

3-2-1--Blast Off

My little brother just started to get into rockets, like I did when I was his age. This morning we took his bright orange two stage rocket out to shoot off. At first it didn't go off, but then after a new set of engines it shot off with a "PPPPHHHUUUSSSHHHH."

Yesterday, I noticed he left his rocket out with engines intact. And next to the fire place. That's my brother the safety expert. I told him I didn't want to see him grow up to be the NASA launch person. His response, "That red flashing light . . . it's fine."

The first stage went off and feel away. And then we lost the rocket in the sky. It literally disappeared. We looked all over and we couldn't find it. We found the first stage, but the main rocket is lost . . . perhaps it made it to orbit.

Something Not-So-Cute

(Picture is from here)

Can you believe people actually dress there dogs like this? Look at its face. It's just so ashamed.

Anyway, I was just writing something because I haven't written something in a while. This dog is not so cute. More sad. But I thought I would put it up anyway. Having to much of a break makes me a little rusty.

I had a good Christmas, as I hope everyone who celebrates it did, too. Went to Texas to visit with family. Played some pool and saw a steer and drank some wine. Other things too, but to hard to remember. Fun time.

I've been thinking about some heavy things lately. A few topics to bring up here, but that is for another time. Tonight, I just wanted to touch base and show this dog who may or may not have tried to bite through its own wrists after this picture was taken--just to end the humiliation.

The Battle of the Bureaucracy

For the last month or so I have been working hard to get my Magazine, New Stone Circle (everyone should go look at it), not-for-profit status. It is really hard to move through the crap--file this here, give this place $50, mail this 500 page report here. It's a lot of bureaucracy to move through. I wouldn't have even started if it wasn't for this website I got from the nice people at CHIRP (you should go there, too).

I thought maybe I should keep track of my escapades with my blog. Unfortunately, now I'm almost done. I hope. But if anyone is looking into making that sort of company, you should definitely look at this website. It is a tremendous help. There are a few things missing. Nothing I didn't figure out by completing the step before, but it was a little unnerving to not know something was coming up.

I still can't shake the feeling that I am doing something completely wrong. I'm afraid that I'm accidentally creating like a hundred cooperations I will have to pay taxes on. Or maybe I'm hiring illegal immigrants in a sting operation I am unaware of.

Let's hope none of that is true.

So far all I have left to do is apply for tax exemption. I'll let you know what becomes of it. Hopefully I'll be done soon and will then be able to move onto more important things.

Cute!!! (It's been a while)

Publish2 Contest and Other News . . . um . . . news

Above is a badge with a link to my entry in the Publish2 contest. I think it's pretty good and I am pretty proud of myself. If you would please read it and rate it, I would be much obliged. (That's something people say, right?) While I would love it if you agreed with me and rated it high, please don't feel like you have to. If something doesn't look right tell me. I would like to have a discussion on this topic.

Also besides holding contests, Publish2 is a pretty cool social networking/news aggregator/something-something new media. I have been trying it out for a week or so and I still don't have it all figured out. It seems pretty big and a little confusing. Let me know what you think about that, too.

Comment. Comment. Comment. Please.

Well that didn't take long . . .

Forget my old post saying Chicagoans are walking around happy. Our dear fearless leader Gov. Rod Blagojevich ruined that right quick. Here is the Chicago Tribune's covearge (Keep in mind, Blago tried to get the editorial board fired so they have a bit of a bone to pick with him. Not that any of this is a lie. Just keep it in mind.)

Any good-will collected by my city, from the last election, has been broken by our Gubernatorial foul mouth. Sure it's sad to see our state become the butt of so many jokes, but what I find most insulting is that our elected official sounds like a 10 year old just out of ear shot from his parents.

It's interesting to note, the day after the Presidential election was sunny and clear and happy. The day after the Governor's perp-walk was dingy, cold morning. Is the universe trying to tell us something? No, not at all. The weather and our political system have nothing to do with each other. It's just interesting to note.

Graffiti

I saw this outside my window the other day and felt compelled to photograph it. The building used to be a home for the old, I think. But a few months ago, before it got cold, they tore it down to build some big condos.

People who are bothered by Graffiti tend to explain their feelings with one of two categories. The Broken Window syndrome: in which a broken window left unattended will lead to gradually harsher crimes. There has been scientific research to back up this idea.

Or

Graffiti artists use other people's property as there own canvas.

But, when the building is sitting destroyed for months, what is there to complain about.

The person who owns the building obviously don't care about the original building or they wouldn't try to replace it. And if a broken window leads to other crimes, what would could a broken building lead to?

I guess I'm just making a leap of faith. I have not heard anyone complain about this graffiti, but I'm sure someone dislikes it. This is really just some thoughts running through my mind. And also taking the pictures was an exercise in moving outside of my comfort zone.

Anyone else have thoughts?

My blog is huge.

I just noticed a huge jump in people looking at my blog (well, huge, really it was a jump from 10 a day to 35 today).

Anyway turns out someone from the webecoist.com linked a picture back to me. They found the really cute picture of the Mexican Walking Fish on my blog and cited me. Like I was a real expert on cute things.

Looks like a pretty good article. And hello everyone coming from the webecoist.com. Can y'all fit?

World of Goo

This weekend I've been home for Thanksgiving and my Birthday. I've been able to hang out with my younger brother Ellis. The other day, Ellis bought World of Goo for his Wii. He put it pretty well when he said "This is the best game ever!"

Maybe not the "best game ever," but it is Pretty Fucking Close.

In the game, you move these little balls of goo that connect to each other to make structures. The structures need to be strong enough to travel to a pipe that sucks up any extra goo's. It's a really simple idea that is designed really well.

Each level is nicely even. I have yet to hit a level that is so hard it stops being fun, but they're not too easy ether. The writing is great, too. The mysterious sign maker keeps making signs that continue the story line. The signs are funny and self deprecating. And they lovingly poke fun at the gaming community and Internet culture.

My only complaints are really only annoyances that come from this type of game play. There are little fireflies flying around that reverse time to go back a turn; they are incredibly easy to hit accidentally. And sometimes, in the excitement of the game, it is easy to pick up the wrong piece of goo. When the structure of your goo tower is failing, it can be a little frustrating to pick up a water goo when you wanted a green one.

I would like to see more downloadable content from them, with new levels and new goo's. The game is a little quick (I think I have 2 more levels left). But it is fun.

I just want art in my mailbox.

I don't think I have talked about this before, but in the last few months I have been working on a project. It is not anywhere near completed but I do need your help.

For years, my mom worked on her own Literature magazine. I have decided to take it over and make it my own. So far we (me and some friends/editors) have our website up NewStoneCircle.org. Like it says, we are far from the printing press, but we are looking for submissions. Send us your work (Look at our submission guidelines for what and where to send). Tell friends who like to write or draw, maybe they would like to submit. Send us a donation (we are in desperate need of some money before we can get to much more). But you might want to wait for us to get nonprofit status so it's tax deductible for you. Just help us out and we promise to bring you something very enjoyable in the very near future.

I'm really excited about this and I can't wait to read your stories.

Bulls Testicles and Pig Blood

I assume the title will make everyone dry heave. I'll give you a moment.

. . .

Done? Good.

I'm interested in why most people would have such a problem eating this type of food. There are cultures who don't see a problem with eating the balls of a male cow. A few generations ago, you would have seen nothing wrong with it ether. Something has changed to make parts of the animal like blood a taboo.

I think it comes from our gradual movement to an urban society. We rely on other people to deal with our food. In the past, people who wanted to eat some bacon had to go out and kill the pig first. Now people who want bacon just have to cross the street and pick up shrink-wrapped and precut bacon.

Now, people are soft (a phrase I would rather not use, but just might have to). The idea of killing an animal is so disturbing because it has been bred out. When it was second nature, we didn't waste any part of the animal. Blood and organs were not offensive like they are now.

I have never been one to become nostalgic for a bygone day, and I'm not doing so right now. I am more arguing for new experiences. I'm not talking from experience, myself. I have not killed my own animal; seen an animal slaughtered; or even gotten to know an animal and found it on my dinner table. But It seems like a more healthy life. Perhaps watching death would make us think twice about what we eat.

The Reader has a great article in this weeks paper, kind of about this issue.

I'd like to be able to experience this for myself. It's sounds like a of part of the slow food movement, which is something I've been skeptical about. Maybe I'm changing my mind.

The Call

I just got a call from some guy. When I answered he said "Hunny?!?" I said hello again. "Who is this?" he asked clearly befuddled and a little mad.

Do you think he thinks his "Hunny" is cheating on him. One can only hope, hmm.

Cute! Part Deux

About a year ago, I found a picture of some sort of swimming salamander/fish with legs/smiling cuteness. I didn't know what it was or if it was even real, but I figured it should be on my blog.

Here's the picture if you don't remember.

Today I found this article on Digg.com. Apparently, it is real and it's called Axolotls (ACK-suh-LAH-tuhl) or "Mexican walking fish." And treehugger.com says the Axolotls "is seriously threatened with extinction because of habitat destruction and water pollution."